Aug. 12, 2011— -- Laura Brashier beat stage 4 cervical cancer, but the grueling treatments killed her sex life. The countless surgeries and radiation destroyed her vaginal tissue and made intercourse impossibly painful.
Intimacy Dating is 100% Free Online Dating For Everyone. Seeing verified dating profiles on the website puts my mind at ease that I won't be talking to fake profiles for robots. Some of the cool features on Benaughty include a 'hot or not' option similar to tinder and standard search and filter features. For the most part, these two features are the essential features for any dating websites. Simply click a link above to jump to that dating site, or compare them all to see which one best suits your need for selective visibility. Instant Bonus: Get a downloadable version of The 10 Irresistible Profile Examples so you can copy & paste your way to more dates on any dating site or app you choose. RomanceOnly is the world's premier online dating site for Sex-C adults seeking romance—committed relationships built on affectionate companionship, physical connection and authentic love.without any expectation of intercourse. We at RomanceOnly stand in this truth: Intimacy fulfills emotional, spiritual and physical needs, and sexual chemistry isn't limited to intercourse.
The Rancho Santa Margarita, Calif., hair stylist was only 37 then, and she found it hard to broach the topic with boyfriends. So she just didn't get involved romantically.
'It was the only thing on my mind,' said Brashier, who is twice divorced and has no children. 'I dated on and off, but I didn't tell anyone for years. I figured if I am doing that, a lot of others are, too.'
Now, more than a decade later at 50, she has created a website for others who cannot have sex because of disease, disability or even disinterest, but want love. The site, 2date4love, launched Aug. 1 and in the first three days it had 2,000 visitors.
'I didn't want to be alone. This was the reason I went online,' she said. 'My reason is to help a lot of people like me if I can.'
Users can write details about themselves and look for others with similar interests without having to worry about the sexual part. One testimonial from a cervical cancer survivor said the site had given her the 'hope and courage I've needed to delve back into the dating scene.'
Can't Have Sex, But Seeking Love
Those who face physical hurdles in having sexual intercourse are part of a large, silent group, according to Brashier. 'Nobody talks about it,' she said.
An estimated one in three Americans will have cancer in their lifetimes and aggressive treatments can have an impact on sexual function, according to Dr. Ilana Cass, a gynecological oncologist at Cedars-Sinai Samuel Oschin Comprehensive Cancer Institute in Los Angeles.
'Add in depression and that number is huge,' said Cass. 'It's a meaningful number of patients and studies are starting to look at the quality of life of cancer survivors, their cognitive function and sexual intimacy issues.'
She applauds Brashier's mission and said the medical community is 'very much turning a spotlight on these questions.'
Brashier learned she had cancer in 1998 after doctors had been monitoring dysplasia, or abnormal cell changes, in the cervix.
'At the time, I had never felt better in my life,' she said. 'I was not in a relationship, but I was dating and a happy girl.'
Best Dating Site For Intimacy
Doctors performed a hysterectomy, but during surgery, they discovered that the cancer had metastasized. 'I was devastated,' she said.
Because she was young and healthy, they were able to give her potent chemotherapy and radiation that knocked her off her feet, causing a bowel obstruction and keeping her out of work for eight months. She lost 26 pounds.
'The radiation kind of melts you,' she said. '[My vagina] kind of closed up on me and there was so much scar tissue that sex was painful.'
Single at the time, Brashier was never able to reconnect sexually. 'I was having an attraction with someone at one time, and I was going to tell him, but then realized it wasn't going to happen. Who would sign up for that?'
Cool Dating Website For Intimacy Women
'I could barely have a conversation with him,' she said.
After going online to seek support, Brashier found none. Then two years ago, she contacted a successful friend she had known since she was 13 and he agreed to finance her idea for a website.
Best dating app in 2020, top free dating apps 2020, best free dating app 2020, free dating apps 2020, best dating app nyc, best dating apps 2020 reddit, best dating websites 2020, best dating sites 2020 Waters magazine or Lal Bagh deserve from airlines is incorrectly against insurance expert. 4.9 stars - 1633 reviews. Online dating in 2020, top 5 dating sites in my opinion!Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE for more content! What's your FAVORITE dating site? Comment below!#datingap. If you're looking for a commitment, one of the best dating apps for 2020 is Coffee Meets Bagel. How it works: Unlike other apps that are overcrowded and overwhelming, this app sends you one match daily that meets your criteria. You're probably thinking, 'with one match each day, it must take forever.'. The Best Dating Apps For 2020. 2020 is already the best year for online dating apps and online dating sites on record. More than 60% of single people are using, or have used dating apps, and there are more choices than ever when it comes to picking the right dating app for you. Top dating apps of 2020.
'I tried to make it really simple and for a wide range of users,' she said.
Not Being Able to Have Sex 'Always on My Mind'
Brashier hopes her website can cast a wide net to connect those who have had traumatic injuries like paralysis, invasive surgery, extreme radiation and even birth defects. For men, conditions like prostate cancer, high blood pressure and diabetes can also affect their sexual function.
Cancer expert Cass said that it is important to educate patients about how the side effects of treatments can impair sexual function and to give them the tools to preserve their sexuality.
'Intimacy after cancer treatment is an enormous problem,' she said.
She said many myths surrounding cancer treatments stigmatize patients and kill the sex drive.
'If you have had chemo, your partner is not exposed by being intimate,' said Cass. 'Radiation doesn't expose your partner to radiation. Cancer is not sexually transmitted.'
Vaginal tissues can scar and younger women can go into premature menopause after chemotherapy and radiation. This can cause hot flashes, loss of libido and vaginal dryness. Hormones and non-hormone therapy can often treat symptoms.
As for radiation, 'it's pretty tough on tissues,' said Cass. 'The vagina is a pretty tough organ, but there can be a certain degree of fibrosis or thickening -- like old leather -- that can be problematic for women.'
'We encourage sexual activity after treatment,' she said. 'If you don't use it, the vagina can close down and stick to itself and become stenotic.'
Her advice to female patients is 'use it or lose it,' and encourages women who have undergone cancer treatment to use a dilator to keep the vagina open. The tissue is incredibly flexible, according to Cass, and can stretch itself back into shape.
Even patients like Brashier, whom Cass did not treat, can experience intimacy without vaginal intercourse.
'There are other ways to express love, including clitoral stimulation, oral sex and other erogenous zones,' she said. 'You still have some hardware there.'
Couples need to be 'creative' and to 'expand their horizons' to satisfy their need for intimacy, according to Cass. 'We are all sexual beings.'
As for Brashier, she hopes that 2date4love will help bring intimacy to lonely lives, without the expectation of going all the way.
'It's just the freedom of not having it on my mind when I am talking to a man,' she said. 'It's really hard for someone else to understand how it weighs on my mind.'
Intimacy is often confused with sex. But just as people can be sexual without being intimate, intimacy can happen without a sexual component being present. Broadly speaking, intimacy means deeply knowing someone, while also feeling deeply known yourself.
It is something humans crave, and though at times, it may seem more difficult for men to express it, that doesn't mean they don't need or want it. Here's an honest look at what intimacy means to a man and how they desire it.
Physicality Does Play a Big Role
Men are often more physical in their journey to intimacy than women. They are seen as being solely focused on physical intimacy, but this isn't necessarily the case, it's just one way they get there. Dame Barbara Cartland explained it best when she said, 'Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.'
Women typically have higher levels of oxytocin, the bonding hormone. Men release this hormone at their highest level during sex, which leaves them at their most vulnerable and intimate. It's easy to see how the physical aspect plays such a large role in being intimate for men.
Physical intimacy is just one of many forms of intimacy but it's an important one for men. Physical doesn't have to mean sex. Little touches while your partner is working or reading, rubbing their shoulders, and grazing the small of their back when you walk by let your partner know they're on your mind and you appreciate their presence.
Men are physical creatures by nature, but it doesn't always have to lead to sex. They like being noticed, just like women do and by incorporating touch into your expressions of affection, you can create intimacy in day-to-day activities.
Compliments are Intimate
Totally free online dating sites without registration. Everyone enjoys feeling good about themselves, and men are no different. Though most men won't tell you they need to hear these things, getting a boost of confidence from your partner is never a bad thing. Frequent reassurances about themselves, their career paths, and even sexual prowess are all great ways to boost self-confidence and harness intimacy in your relationship.
What intimacy means to a man can look as simple as a, 'You sure look handsome this morning!'. Praising your man doesn't lead to cockiness, it makes them feel loved and confident. Compliments don't have to center on appearance or prowess. For example, if you're parents, telling your partner how much you appreciate the way they interact with your children means a lot.
It's the little things that make your partner smile that bring intimacy to the moment. Think positive and know that the more you compliment your partner, the more positive return you'll see in your relationship.
Emotional Intimacy Matters
From a very young age, culturally men are often taught not to show weakness. That's why it's vital to let your partner know they can be vulnerable with you without repercussions. When we look at what intimacy means to a man, we can't discount emotional intimacy.
When a man feels comfortable opening up to his partner, he's showing a vulnerable side he could have been taught to hide. His partner is his safe space, his place where he can be his true self, no matter what. It takes time and trust, but once it's there, this is one of the most intimate and valued feelings a man can be share with his partner.
Space Creates Intimacy
Most men need space to breathe. One of the biggest challenges in relationships between men and women is the need for space. On average, the female partner wants more time spent together, whereas the male partner wants more time apart. This doesn't speak to anything wrong in the relationship, it's a matter of finding a balance of closeness and separateness.
Suffocating a man is one of the fastest ways to kill off intimacy and even the relationship. Throughout history, whenever a problem needs solving, traditionally women would go further into the tribe to find answers, whereas men would go off on their own. Not much has necessarily changed in regard to this.
Giving your partner space to roam and figure things out on his own when he needs to actually creates the space he needs to build intimacy. As relationship coach Jordan Gray says, it lets him know that you trust him to make his own decisions and the strength of your bond. Giving him space says to him that you know he'll make good choices on his own.
What Intimacy Means to a Man
Now, more than a decade later at 50, she has created a website for others who cannot have sex because of disease, disability or even disinterest, but want love. The site, 2date4love, launched Aug. 1 and in the first three days it had 2,000 visitors.
'I didn't want to be alone. This was the reason I went online,' she said. 'My reason is to help a lot of people like me if I can.'
Users can write details about themselves and look for others with similar interests without having to worry about the sexual part. One testimonial from a cervical cancer survivor said the site had given her the 'hope and courage I've needed to delve back into the dating scene.'
Can't Have Sex, But Seeking Love
Those who face physical hurdles in having sexual intercourse are part of a large, silent group, according to Brashier. 'Nobody talks about it,' she said.
An estimated one in three Americans will have cancer in their lifetimes and aggressive treatments can have an impact on sexual function, according to Dr. Ilana Cass, a gynecological oncologist at Cedars-Sinai Samuel Oschin Comprehensive Cancer Institute in Los Angeles.
'Add in depression and that number is huge,' said Cass. 'It's a meaningful number of patients and studies are starting to look at the quality of life of cancer survivors, their cognitive function and sexual intimacy issues.'
She applauds Brashier's mission and said the medical community is 'very much turning a spotlight on these questions.'
Brashier learned she had cancer in 1998 after doctors had been monitoring dysplasia, or abnormal cell changes, in the cervix.
'At the time, I had never felt better in my life,' she said. 'I was not in a relationship, but I was dating and a happy girl.'
Best Dating Site For Intimacy
Doctors performed a hysterectomy, but during surgery, they discovered that the cancer had metastasized. 'I was devastated,' she said.
Because she was young and healthy, they were able to give her potent chemotherapy and radiation that knocked her off her feet, causing a bowel obstruction and keeping her out of work for eight months. She lost 26 pounds.
'The radiation kind of melts you,' she said. '[My vagina] kind of closed up on me and there was so much scar tissue that sex was painful.'
Single at the time, Brashier was never able to reconnect sexually. 'I was having an attraction with someone at one time, and I was going to tell him, but then realized it wasn't going to happen. Who would sign up for that?'
Cool Dating Website For Intimacy Women
'I could barely have a conversation with him,' she said.
After going online to seek support, Brashier found none. Then two years ago, she contacted a successful friend she had known since she was 13 and he agreed to finance her idea for a website.
Best dating app in 2020, top free dating apps 2020, best free dating app 2020, free dating apps 2020, best dating app nyc, best dating apps 2020 reddit, best dating websites 2020, best dating sites 2020 Waters magazine or Lal Bagh deserve from airlines is incorrectly against insurance expert. 4.9 stars - 1633 reviews. Online dating in 2020, top 5 dating sites in my opinion!Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE for more content! What's your FAVORITE dating site? Comment below!#datingap. If you're looking for a commitment, one of the best dating apps for 2020 is Coffee Meets Bagel. How it works: Unlike other apps that are overcrowded and overwhelming, this app sends you one match daily that meets your criteria. You're probably thinking, 'with one match each day, it must take forever.'. The Best Dating Apps For 2020. 2020 is already the best year for online dating apps and online dating sites on record. More than 60% of single people are using, or have used dating apps, and there are more choices than ever when it comes to picking the right dating app for you. Top dating apps of 2020.
'I tried to make it really simple and for a wide range of users,' she said.
Not Being Able to Have Sex 'Always on My Mind'
Brashier hopes her website can cast a wide net to connect those who have had traumatic injuries like paralysis, invasive surgery, extreme radiation and even birth defects. For men, conditions like prostate cancer, high blood pressure and diabetes can also affect their sexual function.
Cancer expert Cass said that it is important to educate patients about how the side effects of treatments can impair sexual function and to give them the tools to preserve their sexuality.
'Intimacy after cancer treatment is an enormous problem,' she said.
She said many myths surrounding cancer treatments stigmatize patients and kill the sex drive.
'If you have had chemo, your partner is not exposed by being intimate,' said Cass. 'Radiation doesn't expose your partner to radiation. Cancer is not sexually transmitted.'
Vaginal tissues can scar and younger women can go into premature menopause after chemotherapy and radiation. This can cause hot flashes, loss of libido and vaginal dryness. Hormones and non-hormone therapy can often treat symptoms.
As for radiation, 'it's pretty tough on tissues,' said Cass. 'The vagina is a pretty tough organ, but there can be a certain degree of fibrosis or thickening -- like old leather -- that can be problematic for women.'
'We encourage sexual activity after treatment,' she said. 'If you don't use it, the vagina can close down and stick to itself and become stenotic.'
Her advice to female patients is 'use it or lose it,' and encourages women who have undergone cancer treatment to use a dilator to keep the vagina open. The tissue is incredibly flexible, according to Cass, and can stretch itself back into shape.
Even patients like Brashier, whom Cass did not treat, can experience intimacy without vaginal intercourse.
'There are other ways to express love, including clitoral stimulation, oral sex and other erogenous zones,' she said. 'You still have some hardware there.'
Couples need to be 'creative' and to 'expand their horizons' to satisfy their need for intimacy, according to Cass. 'We are all sexual beings.'
As for Brashier, she hopes that 2date4love will help bring intimacy to lonely lives, without the expectation of going all the way.
'It's just the freedom of not having it on my mind when I am talking to a man,' she said. 'It's really hard for someone else to understand how it weighs on my mind.'
Intimacy is often confused with sex. But just as people can be sexual without being intimate, intimacy can happen without a sexual component being present. Broadly speaking, intimacy means deeply knowing someone, while also feeling deeply known yourself.
It is something humans crave, and though at times, it may seem more difficult for men to express it, that doesn't mean they don't need or want it. Here's an honest look at what intimacy means to a man and how they desire it.
Physicality Does Play a Big Role
Men are often more physical in their journey to intimacy than women. They are seen as being solely focused on physical intimacy, but this isn't necessarily the case, it's just one way they get there. Dame Barbara Cartland explained it best when she said, 'Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.'
Women typically have higher levels of oxytocin, the bonding hormone. Men release this hormone at their highest level during sex, which leaves them at their most vulnerable and intimate. It's easy to see how the physical aspect plays such a large role in being intimate for men.
Physical intimacy is just one of many forms of intimacy but it's an important one for men. Physical doesn't have to mean sex. Little touches while your partner is working or reading, rubbing their shoulders, and grazing the small of their back when you walk by let your partner know they're on your mind and you appreciate their presence.
Men are physical creatures by nature, but it doesn't always have to lead to sex. They like being noticed, just like women do and by incorporating touch into your expressions of affection, you can create intimacy in day-to-day activities.
Compliments are Intimate
Totally free online dating sites without registration. Everyone enjoys feeling good about themselves, and men are no different. Though most men won't tell you they need to hear these things, getting a boost of confidence from your partner is never a bad thing. Frequent reassurances about themselves, their career paths, and even sexual prowess are all great ways to boost self-confidence and harness intimacy in your relationship.
What intimacy means to a man can look as simple as a, 'You sure look handsome this morning!'. Praising your man doesn't lead to cockiness, it makes them feel loved and confident. Compliments don't have to center on appearance or prowess. For example, if you're parents, telling your partner how much you appreciate the way they interact with your children means a lot.
It's the little things that make your partner smile that bring intimacy to the moment. Think positive and know that the more you compliment your partner, the more positive return you'll see in your relationship.
Emotional Intimacy Matters
From a very young age, culturally men are often taught not to show weakness. That's why it's vital to let your partner know they can be vulnerable with you without repercussions. When we look at what intimacy means to a man, we can't discount emotional intimacy.
When a man feels comfortable opening up to his partner, he's showing a vulnerable side he could have been taught to hide. His partner is his safe space, his place where he can be his true self, no matter what. It takes time and trust, but once it's there, this is one of the most intimate and valued feelings a man can be share with his partner.
Space Creates Intimacy
Most men need space to breathe. One of the biggest challenges in relationships between men and women is the need for space. On average, the female partner wants more time spent together, whereas the male partner wants more time apart. This doesn't speak to anything wrong in the relationship, it's a matter of finding a balance of closeness and separateness.
Suffocating a man is one of the fastest ways to kill off intimacy and even the relationship. Throughout history, whenever a problem needs solving, traditionally women would go further into the tribe to find answers, whereas men would go off on their own. Not much has necessarily changed in regard to this.
Giving your partner space to roam and figure things out on his own when he needs to actually creates the space he needs to build intimacy. As relationship coach Jordan Gray says, it lets him know that you trust him to make his own decisions and the strength of your bond. Giving him space says to him that you know he'll make good choices on his own.
What Intimacy Means to a Man
When a relationship has the intimacy it needs, both parties feel safe and secure. Men especially know they can be vulnerable and open with their partner, express their emotions without fear, engage in physical and emotional intimacy, and be assured their need for space will be respected.
No matter whether you're male or female, trust and respect are key pillars in any relationship and the best way to get them is to give them. Openly communicating with your partner about what you need and want will help you get there, one step at a time.
Subscribe to our newsletter
By clicking Submit you agree to Zoosk's terms of use and privacy policy.
